Sex Addiction and the Nervous System: Fight-Or-Flight

In the first post, I talked about your nervous system as a house. The main floor or living area is called Ventral Vagal, a state of physiological calm when your nervous system deems your life and surroundings safe. Above the main floor is the attic and below is the basement. Today, let’s talk about the attic, better known as Fight-Or-Flight.

Sex Addiction and the Nervous System: Fight-Or-Flight

Fight-or-flight is connected to your sex addiction. In order to understand how this works, let’s go over the shift from ventral vagal—when you are feeling safe, social and connected—to fight-or-flight.

From ventral vagal to fight-or-flight

As you read these words and all throughout each day, your nervous system is working hard for you, though you don’t know it. Under your awareness, it is monitoring your surroundings. When it detects something it deems threatening, your nervous system shifts your physiological state from ventral vagal—cool, calm and collected—to an emergency mode called fight-or-flight. It throws you out of the living room and into the attic!

What happens to the body

Fight-or-flight is your body shouting, “The enemy is here!” It’s characterized by an excess of energy in the body, feeling warm, difficulty sitting still, raised heart rate, and a physical urge to fight or run like the wind.

Deb Dana, licensed clinical social worker and author of The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy, writes what can happen to the body in the fight-or-flight state:

Some of the daily living problems can be anxiety, panic attacks, anger, inability to focus or follow through, and distress in relationships. Health consequences can include heart disease; high blood pressure; high cholesterol; sleep problems; weight gain; memory impairment; headache; chronic neck, shoulder and back tension; stomach problems; and increased vulnerability to illness.

What happens in the brain

Since your nervous system believes you are in immediate danger, your body responds by preserving as much energy as possible. One way it does this is by shutting down powerful parts of your brain. If that seems strange, remember, your body is trying to use all its resources to preserve your life to. To neutralize the threat. Brain functions like memory, creativity and planning are temporarily abandoned.

Fight-or-flight and craving porn

So how does all this relate to addiction and sexual addiction specifically? I’ll give you a hint: craving.

What clients have told me

As I mentioned before, many clients have reported they find themselves in fight-or-flight a lot, whether it’s due to work stress, relationship strife, sobriety issues or something else. They may even find themselves stuck in fight-or-flight or living on its edge for prolonged periods of time, which makes them susceptible to health problems.

Their bodies are more stressed than safe, more on edge than at ease.

Deal with your nervous system, not the craving

When men struggling with sex addiction are in fight-or-flight, they often experience a strong desire to self-soothe through pornography and masturbation. The physiological state of fight-or-flight can lead to cravings.

So, when urges hit, don’t ride them off as random or out of the blue. Stop and ask yourself, “What state am I in? Am I in fight-or-flight?”

If the answer is Yes, your priority should be on regulating your nervous system, not just trying to “get through” the craving. Deal with your nervous system.

Conclusion

Are you acquainted with your unique nervous system? Do you know its patterns and dynamics? There are important sobriety insights awaiting you on the other side of understanding and ins and outs of your nervous system.