You Need a Purpose
Healthy sexuality requires a man to discover purpose
Human beings are wired to be caught up into something bigger and greater than themselves, but unfortunately many men today float through life without any true sense of direction or aim. And if you don’t know where you’re going, as the saying goes, every road will take you there.
What do I mean by purpose?
Purpose is about discovering a conviction about:
Who you are here to become
What you are here to do
Seriously ask yourself, “Why am I here? For what have I been born?” If you’ve never asked yourself these questions, no problem. Try starting with simple answers.
For example, “My purpose is to serve others” or “help the poor.” Over time you can add more detail, as your purpose becomes clearer. More detailed answers have clarity and confidence, for example, “My purpose is to produce timeless pieces of art that capture the human spirit” or “To pass on a legacy of faith to my grandchildren.” What matters is that you begin and continue to think about your purpose.
Purposelessness and porn
Purpose is nourishment for the soul.
Without a sense of purpose, life can feel like a bag of sand you drag around behind you. You have less energy and less inspiration. A strong sexual sobriety and recovery require purpose.
Therapist and pastor Jay Stringer found in his research on sexual addiction that when a man lacks purpose, he is more prone to use pornography. Why?
Because without a meaningful direction your soul withers. Think of lacking purpose as spiritual malnourishment. You aren’t getting the nutrients and energy your soul requires to flourish. Your days blur together, depression increases, and idleness abounds. We were built to create culture, start businesses, make art, and participate in meaningful work!
Lacking purpose is spiritually dangerous for anyone striving toward sexual health.
Boredom and being triggered
Can you guess one of the most common triggers for nearly all of my clients? It’s boredom. When there’s nothing going on and nothing to do, our minds wander and our fingers mindlessly scroll devices, creating unnecessary temptations for ourselves.
But when we have a purpose in life—even an incomplete one—time becomes something too precious to waste. Boredom gets squeezed out. And, wonderfully, we are less triggered.
The hard part about purpose
It takes time to discover. It takes introspection, reflecting on moments of deep joy and inspiration in your life, thinking about your personality and what makes you tick. It takes talking with others and experimenting and failing. Purpose doesn’t usually drop in your lap.
Start with the two questions from above. Who are you here to become? What are you here to do? Good answers to these questions will be wind at your back and warmth for your face.